Despite the self-improvement market being estimated to grow to $13.2 billion by 2022, most people already know what they need to do to improve their lives.
Virtually everyday we know we have at least one thing we need to do to make our life better.
That could be to make changes in how to balance finding more peace, connection and time for your loved ones - whilst also - putting in the work to start something new.
Rather than feeling you need to prove yourself and make a success enough to allow yourself to worry less about time and money.
It could be Richard you’re tired of feeling like you go above and beyond your role and are often patronised and condescended to making you doubt your abilities.
Instead you want to wake up wanting to do something good rather than drowning under the expectations of others.
Or it could be to work closer to who you feel you are, with less inner conflict, which in turn will improve your sense of wellbeing and increase the energy you have to complete the projects that matter to you at home and at work
So whether you need to make changes to get balance in life, to wake up driven to do good or to have less inner conflict, it’s a matter of simply developing your ability to become clear.
So in this video I’m going to show you the process of how to develop the skill of getting clarity with what you need to do.
For ease of viewing, here’s what we are going to go over:
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Despite the self-improvement market estimated to grow to $13.2 billion by 2022, most of us already know what we need to do to improve our lives. Virtually every day, we know we have at least one thing we need to do to make our life better. That could be to make changes in how to balance finding more peace, more connection, and more time with loved ones whilst putting the work to start something new rather than feeling you need to prove yourself and make a success enough so you don't have to worry about time and money so much. It could be you're tired of feeling like you go above and beyond within your role and are tired of being patronized, which makes you doubt your abilities. Instead, you want to wake up wanting to do something good rather than drowning under the expectations of others, or it could be to work closer to who you feel you are with less inner conflict, which in turn will increase your sense of wellbeing and the energy you have to focus on the projects that matter to you at home and at work.
Now, these are three very common situations I've seen with people I work with, yet despite being different people in different situations, it really comes down to one skill. So whether you need to make changes to get balances in life, to wake up driven to do good, or to have less in a conflict, it's a matter of simply developing your ability to become clear. So in this video, I'm going to show you the process of how to develop the skill of getting clarity of what you need to do. For ease of viewing, here's what we're going to cover. The first one is how to identify what you want. The second is how to identify what you don't want. And the third is how to define your values and beliefs. The entire mission to this channel is to help you become clear with your thoughts, feelings, and actions so you can stop holding yourself back, so you can become free and thrive so you can make the impact you want in life.
So a small thing you can do to help that is to subscribe to our channel and to like this video. That way more people are going to see this content. I'm Richard and before we start, I want to let you know that you can join me in my free masterclass, learning the proven seven step process to becoming clear so you can find fulfillment and freedom in life. That's still open right now. You can find the link below. So follow the link. And if you want to submit your application for the Freedom of Being coaching program, just follow the announcements at the end of the masterclass because it'll show you how you can do that.
Now step one in this process is how to identify what you want. This sounds easier than it actually is. Typically, most of us got caught up in people pleasing. So when we really think about what we want, we end up with a made up sense of feeling bad or feeling selfish. It's really important to start with what you want because it gives you a direction to head for. An example of this is one of our Freedom of Being students who gave a really nice description, and he said finding the right balance in trusting my staff to work independently, whilst keeping a hand on the reins to be able to pull back if needed. Leading effectively when you feel you're being led ineffectively from above. What stands out here is that he wanted to find balance in trust as well as leading effectively, which was important to him.
But getting to what you want needs an emotional charge. So in this example, he wanted this. I'll be working closer to who I feel I am, less inner conflict, which in turn will improve my sense of wellbeing, and energy I have to complete the projects that matter at home and at work. You can simply put that he's focusing on he wants to be aligned and he wants to be free. This is one of the most important processes to go through because most people say when they say they want something, is they want a new job or they want more money or they want more time. But at the core of that, it's a feeling, they want a feeling. So when you ask yourself what you want, be very clear with what that feeling or what that emotion is that you're really seeking. Now, step two is about what don't you want.
This is easier because it's simply listening to what you're complaining about. It's important to know this because just as knowing what you want gives you a very powerful, positive, emotional charge, knowing what you don't want also gives you a very powerful, negative, emotional charge. Here's an example from another Freedom of Being student and she describes what she doesn't want. She says, "I struggle every day to communicate the constant issues that arise with my customers and the stress and responsibility I take on that is not necessarily up to me to take. Most days I feel like I go above and beyond my role and I'm often patronized and condescended to, making me doubt my abilities and often why I bother." Again, like the first example, she's really describing specific situations that she's experiencing, but as she goes on, she gets underneath it and really describes what she doesn't want.
"I don't want to feel like I'm drowning under the expectations of others." You see how precise that is? She's describing drowning. And so drowning is description of being held down. And so she's describing that she doesn't want to feel trapped. And another way of saying that is that she wants to be free. So as step one, what is the emotional charge you're feeling? Underneath all of your complaints, what is the feeling that you don't want? What you think you want or don't want is just not enough. The only real aspect that brings real clarity to your life is knowing the emotional charge because that emotional charge is what's going to fuel you to make the changes you want in your life. Step three is about what are your values and beliefs? Do you ever stop taking your personal values for granted by asking yourself these questions?
What do you believe in and why do you believe them? Are these values your values? This is hugely influenced by the values we are told about on a cultural level. Think of the country you're living in right now. What are the national stories and myths that you automatically assume are your values? Cultural myths are ideas that are taken on by groups of people and then assumed to be true. Religion is probably the biggest cultural myths in existence. Is it that billions of people to believe from receive learning that certain things and practices are wrong or to be avoided? Another common myth is that anyone can go from rags to riches. So I think about the American dream. George Carlin was an American standout comedian actor and social critic, and was regardless one of the most important and influential stand-ups of all time. And his description of the American dream is very famous.
The reason they call it the American dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it and being asleep meaning that you're not questioning. You'll just take it on. You're just assuming. You're not even looking at it. It's just absorbing into you. You could look at this from many different perspectives, but one stands out to me is the idea of success and the values that we're all told about to do with what is success. The movie Pursuit of Happyness is a wonderful example of that. The main character's born into a lower or middle class family and works his way up the social ladder with education and just plain hard work. But to me it portrays two values. The first one is hard work is the only way to success and the second one is that success is solely based on our social status and earnings.
In my life, this played out in my drive to work with the best athletes in the world. When I didn't want to do that anymore, I realized I was trapped. I was terrified of getting a normal job, of working for myself because in my head I had taken on the values of success based on my earnings of how much I was earning and also on the social validation I was getting from working with Olympic athletes. It took me a great bit of time to recalibrate my own values and my definition of success, which has turned into the values of the work that I do now, to be authentic with who I am, to lead with my heart so I know what I want, so I can help and serve people become free so they can feel fulfilled and free in their life. To take action is to take responsibility and to realize that you are in charge of your experience and of your personal development. Simply you decide on who you want to become and everything you learn has an impact on your values and identity.
There are three checks that you can do with this. The first one is, do you believe that you can rely on your own internal values to make decisions? The second is, can you accept the fact that you cannot control all the external events happening to you and around you, but you can control the way you react? And the third one is, this is a journey that goes from giving away your power by just accepting what's happening around you to expressing your own internal authority. I went from a perpetual state of anxiety and self sabotage where I was deeply unhappy and unfulfilled despite living a lifestyle that most thought were really successful. I was stuck in my stories. I was unable to see my limiting beliefs. I was always in my mind and worrying and stuck in drama, blaming other people. I was not aware at all of what I wanted.
I thought I knew what I wanted, but I didn't know what I wanted. And I didn't know what I didn't want. Again, they were just my thoughts. I thought I knew what I wanted, but at the heart of me, I was not connected with that. My fear held me back saying no. I just didn't know how to say no. I lacked absolute clarity in anything that I did. To a life now where I feel free and I'm in love and I'm deeply fulfilled by the work that I do in my life, because now I focus my energy on living from my heart and being my authentic self. Now I know there's much more to becoming clear, free and fulfilled in life, and so that's the main reason to why I've created the masterclass, the free masterclass, which you can find in the description below.
You'll learn the step by step process with real case studies in how this can be used to get clear in your life to live the life that you want to. You can also apply for the Freedom of Being coaching program by following the guidelines at the end of the masterclass. And to remind you if you haven't subscribed yet, please click the button and click the bell that you'll be notified each time I release new videos on how to become clear in your life. You can also check out this video below next on how to become clear when you're feeling lost. And so I want to thank you again for joining me on this episode and I'll see you in another video.
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