One of the main reasons why you don't get anything done is because of your intense fear of failure.
So today I want to show you the powerful way I overcome my fear of failure - by changing the way you view fear in general.
Becoming fearless and confident is easier than you think. By understanding what fear is in the first place it will allow you to become more fearless and overcome your fear of failure.
Life is there to be lived so dealing with rejection and knowing how to deal with failure is a skill you can develop!
In this video I want to show you how to stop fearing failure and become fearless and trust yourself by changing the way you view fear in general.
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Have you ever thought that it could quite well be possible that one of the main reasons that you don't get the things that you want done is because your intense fear of failure? Fear of failing, fear of being rejected, or fear of not being liked. Do you spend most of your time getting ready, watching more videos, reading more books, just waiting for that right moment where you see months or maybe even years go by without any progress being made?
If this is something you can relate to, listen carefully. In this video, I'm going to show you how to become fearless and trusting in your life by changing the relationship that you have with fear. In my opinion and experience, fear is actually a good thing. So if you have fear of rejection or if you're afraid to fail, make sure you stay to the end of this video.
If you're new to my channel, I'm Richard, and I help impact-driven professionals who are lost with direction and self-doubt, become clear, effective, and impactful in their life. And our free masterclass, the proven seven set process to become clear, effective, and have greater impact in your life, is still open. So if you want to join that masterclass or want to submit your application for the freedom of being programmed, make sure you say to the very end of that masterclass, because you'll have the steps of how to do both.
To become fearless, it's important to know what fear is in the first place. And I love this description by [Andrew Hughman], fear is simply anxiety plus uncertainty. So simply uncertainty is all of the unknowns, our relationship to them, the external world or events or situations and how we see them. What will people think? Will I look bad? Why isn't it going how I want it to go?
My greatest piece of advice I've ever heard has come from Michael A. Singer and in particular his book, The Surrender Experiment, and the simple question, why is this situation presenting itself to me right now? He says, "Am I better off making up alternate reality in my mind and then fighting with the reality to make it be my way? Or am I better off letting go of what I want and serving the same forces of reality that managed to create the entire perfection of the universe around me?"
Each of us actually believes that things should be the way we want them, instead of being the natural result of all the forces of creation. No matter who we are, life is going to put us through the changes we need to go through. The question is, are we willing to use this force for our transformation? I saw that even very intense situations don't have to leave psychological scars if we are willing to process our changes at a deeper level.
My formula for success is very simple, do whatever is in front of you with all your heart and soul, without regard for personal results. Do the work as though it were given to you by the universe itself, because it was. There's no doubt my mind wants things the way I want them. It perceives things, it plans things, and it tells me what is going to happen.
So when things naturally break down, I feel a sense of suffering because I'm attached on what I expected to happen. And so the practice for me is about softening that attachment in the moment, honoring the disappointment, of course, but also softening. Can I let go? Can I accept? Can I accept? Can I accept? And not about in the head, I accept what's going on, can you feel it? Can your body soften? Can you let go to that moment? To surrender to that moment, the Surrender Experiment.
The next part to the equation on fear is anxiety, so our physiological changes that are going on. You can't control people, you can only control your response and your emotions. And this comes down to the lessons I learned in Olympic sport, and certainly with the action sport athletes about retuning your awareness, paying attention to how I pay attention on my interceptive level.
We experience time I'm linearly, and so the deep now, the present moment is only really ever where all our possibilities and flow states and that creative place really is in the deep. Now it's where we get full access to the full influence we have, the full choice and the full impact possible that we want to create. If we're not in the deep now, then we're only in one of two places, past or future, and typically what has pulled us there.
And so what that means is, something in the present moment we've made a judgment on, that's not enough, it's not good enough, it's not happy enough, whatever it is, our core needs are not being met in that moment. And so when that happens, we're being pulled into either the past or the future, the painful past or perfect past or fantastical future or fearful future. And so the painful past or the fearful future is a place of fear, fear-based.
So what we're talking about is vigilance, and so whether we're stuck in daydream, we are thinking about that holiday we want to go onto, or whatever it is, or we're stuck in a fear-based response, we're half power, we're half strength of where we truly can be. And so the first thing to do is to just be present. I've mentioned on previous videos about acknowledging what is right now, just to be present with it.
This is how I feel in the present moment, this is my present now. The second thing is to interrupt that, and so to tune yourself back into your body, by bringing your hand onto your stomach and just taking some slow rhythm or cold breaths, that's as simple as that, whether you have a difficult conversation coming up, whether you just came out of an argument, whether you are worried about making a decision, bring yourself into that interceptive level, bring your hand onto your body and to begin to breathe.
And the last few steps are all about vitality and vitality is simply the daily things that make us feel best. Are you getting enough sleep? The quantity, as well as the quality. Are you eating well? Are you moving your body? Are you taking enough rest? Are you hydrated? Are you getting into nature? Simple things that really play into increasing your vitality.
For me, breathwork practice, meditation, first thing in the morning I go in the sea, I keep time for myself during the day to get into nature. They're the key things that really give me energy and allow me to show up as my best version. The final part to this is, are you willing to let someone else's opinion limit your life experience right now? This is a question only you can answer. If you stay limited, then you are choosing to stay there.
Know that, and once you know that and once you recognize it, you can then begin to change it, no one else is making that happen. If we let the fear of being criticized or what people think guide our life, we're never going to do anything, we're never going to step out of the norm, we're going to fit in, and fitting in means following on, doing what other people do and not doing what we truly want to do.
It's going to keep us unfulfilled, it's going to keep us in a state of fear because we are too worried about what other people think, we'll end up just maintaining our sense of people pleasing. In my life this shows up in creating these videos, putting my experience and views out into the world. If I worried what people thought, especially on this type of platform, I would never do it.
Of course, I get criticized, of course, people don't resonate what I'm saying, of course, there are people who probably judge what I'm doing. And at the same time, there's many other people who are getting value from it. This channel is growing faster and faster. The people reach out to me, the coaching program that I run, I know that it's helpful, I know it's helpful to the majority of people.
And in fact, when you really start to look at this, the people who criticize are such a small subset of the larger picture, that it's pointless to listen to them because life is meant to be lived, every single experience, both the good and the bad, the positive and the negative, the polarities exist because they're either ends of the scale. And so navigating those, experiencing those, is what I believe makes a rich life.
And certainly whether you've seen previous videos of mine before or not, my experience of giving end of life care to my mother, that moment of witnessing the death of someone, the death of someone close to you, but just the death of a human being, connects me to my mortality. I am going to die one day, we all are going to die one day. So how do we want to live? And by continuing that practice of engaging in my own mortality, my own death, it's allowing me to live life.
I'm becoming braver and braver, less fearful and stepping into my power because life is here to be lived. It's such a short time period that we all have. Do we want to live guarded and staying safe, or do we want to live and express ourselves how we want to that makes us feel come alive? Part of that is to become clear, what do you want to do? What does make you come alive?
And just to remind you, your free masterclass on the seven proven step process to become clear, effective, and impactful in your life, is still open. And you can register by clicking the link in the description below. If you haven't subscribed, please go to the subscribe button and click the bell, that way you'll be notified each week when I release new videos on how to become clear and effective.
And I thank you for watching this video, please leave your comments below, please share this video to anyone that you think will help. I'd love to hear what you think and I'll see you on another episode.
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